Communicating With Your Teen

Anyone who has a teen knows that communication isn’t always easy! Here are some strategies you can use to help your practice driving time be less stressful and more helpful for your teen. Of course, you know your teen best, so feel free to modify these suggestions to suit their communication style.

• Keep calm and avoid raising your voice. New teen drivers can easily become stressed or overwhelmed. Try to keep the driving environment calm and relaxed.
• Correct mistakes in the moment and discuss them in more detail later. When your teen makes a mistake, help them safely correct the situation, then later – when there’s time and less stress – talk through what happened and use it as a learning experience.
• Use “I” statements. For example, instead of simply telling your teen they need to slow down in heavy traffic, you can share what you notice and think about when anticipating that you’ll need to slow down. For example, you could say “In traffic, I look for brake lights a few cars ahead to help me know when traffic is slowing down.”
• Think a few steps ahead and tell your teen what to expect so they are prepared in advance. For example, “We need to change lanes in the next two blocks because at the second light we need to turn right.”
• Use calm, simple, and direct language. This is especially important in time-critical situations like an ambulance approaching, when you need to tell them exactly what to do without making them panic.
• Keep the atmosphere in the car positive. Don’t forget to compliment your teen when they do something well! For example, say something like, “That was a really smooth turn you made” or “good job noticing that bicyclist and slowing down.”
• Be mindful about talking too much. Driving takes a lot of concentration for a beginner. Sometimes saying nothing is best.